Jason's Daily Notes

Still sick. But I went to work anyway.

Started the morning on the wrong foot; my bike ride was full of red lights and cars cutting me off, plus a traffic jam. I arrived around 9am, before Carolyn (who was viewing another flat at 10am) or Will (who was riding a train back from Amsterdam). I did the performance master sheet myself.

I'm not stressing out over work, but (likely as a result) I'm not excited or energized to push forward new projects. The idea of giving my notice is still weighing on me. I should be ok, but it's hard to keep a secret inside and not talk about it.

I'm also avoiding Mike. He's back from his snow trip, and I'm not even mentioning it to anyone. What happened between us is still the biggest heartbreak of my life, and it just doesn't make sense.

I went for a walk in the afternoon, all the way to Uerdinger str. and back. The air was chilly but also refreshing.

Had a phone call at 5, then called my mom and uncle at home, and went home shortly thereafter. Got a missed call from Oli as I was biking back.

I finished listening to Serial (the podcast), which I have been binge-listening the last few days. I then had nothing to do; I waned to be engrossed in the story further, so I had no motivation to watch any of the normal shows that I watch. I ended up watching some Workaholics, smoking up, relaxing myself, and then going to sleep to some comedy (Aziz Anzari).

I didn't do much this weekend. I'm still pretty depressed, as I have been since coming back to Germany from the States. I think I know it's inevitable that I'll leave here, so I have no motivation to do anything until then. Also, the weather sucks. It's below freezing, cold, and I have had enough of it.
I'm also sick. I was slightly sick at the beginning of the week, and thought I had gotten over it.

Today I woke up early-ish (8am, when the sun rises now, woot) and lay in bed for an hour. I had no energy other than to pee, and I still felt sick and shitty. I had a persistent cough. I took some painkillers and rested some more. I felt nasty. My body was sore from laying down too much, but had no energy to actually do anything. I could actually feel myself getting fatter. I finally showered and decided to walk outside. It took me maybe an hour to get ready.

Before leaving, I figured, "why not give this Serial thing a shot?" So I downloaded a podcast app and a few episodes of Serial. INSTANTLY HOOKED. Weird because it's just one story. How can they drag it on for hours? Anyway, I walked around the city, Stadtmitte and Königsallee and back through the Hofgarten.