Jason's Daily Notes

So, after some chaos and (costly) eagerness on my point, I rented a car for the weekend. The plan was to get out of Germany, likely driving to the Netherlands. But no one was capable of actually going on Saturday. So I let the reservation pass. I woke up on Sunday and realized I could still have the car for the day, without having to pay for a hotel (maximizing my sunk costs, while minimizing my marginal costs - for all you economists out there - consumer surplus).

I went to the airport (walking first to pick up my bike from the office) and rented the car. It took a moment to adjust to driving again, but it felt good. I exited the parking garage in "my" BMW and hit the streets. I took some secondary highways leaving Düsseldorf, to enjoy the sunny weather. There was some traffic toward Oberhausen so I wound around. I chose as my first destination Emmerich.

I then tried to find the Dutch border along the Rhine but no sign there. Anyway, I drove toward Amsterdam. Found myself in Muiden, where I pulled over to glimpse at Muiderslot, a nice castle situated just over the highway.

Then I made my way to Zaandam, where there are some cool buildings, including the "famous" stacked green hotel in the center. Not too far away is Zaanse Schans, a traditional Dutch town. I rushed around as the sun was setting, then drove to the closest beach I could find, which was just behind Castricum. Unfortunately clouds had rolled in, so the warm sunny day I was blessed with did not extend to the beach. Oh well, that doesn't mean I can stop by Amsterdam at least!

I found a Park and Ride, but it was not connected; so I drove to another P&R that I was familiar with, and I visited Amsterdam for 30 minutes! :)

Drove back, hitting 210km/h on the Autobahn once I crossed back into Germany.

What an amazing day!

Still sick. But I went to work anyway.

Started the morning on the wrong foot; my bike ride was full of red lights and cars cutting me off, plus a traffic jam. I arrived around 9am, before Carolyn (who was viewing another flat at 10am) or Will (who was riding a train back from Amsterdam). I did the performance master sheet myself.

I'm not stressing out over work, but (likely as a result) I'm not excited or energized to push forward new projects. The idea of giving my notice is still weighing on me. I should be ok, but it's hard to keep a secret inside and not talk about it.

I'm also avoiding Mike. He's back from his snow trip, and I'm not even mentioning it to anyone. What happened between us is still the biggest heartbreak of my life, and it just doesn't make sense.

I went for a walk in the afternoon, all the way to Uerdinger str. and back. The air was chilly but also refreshing.

Had a phone call at 5, then called my mom and uncle at home, and went home shortly thereafter. Got a missed call from Oli as I was biking back.

I finished listening to Serial (the podcast), which I have been binge-listening the last few days. I then had nothing to do; I waned to be engrossed in the story further, so I had no motivation to watch any of the normal shows that I watch. I ended up watching some Workaholics, smoking up, relaxing myself, and then going to sleep to some comedy (Aziz Anzari).

I didn't do much this weekend. I'm still pretty depressed, as I have been since coming back to Germany from the States. I think I know it's inevitable that I'll leave here, so I have no motivation to do anything until then. Also, the weather sucks. It's below freezing, cold, and I have had enough of it.
I'm also sick. I was slightly sick at the beginning of the week, and thought I had gotten over it.

Today I woke up early-ish (8am, when the sun rises now, woot) and lay in bed for an hour. I had no energy other than to pee, and I still felt sick and shitty. I had a persistent cough. I took some painkillers and rested some more. I felt nasty. My body was sore from laying down too much, but had no energy to actually do anything. I could actually feel myself getting fatter. I finally showered and decided to walk outside. It took me maybe an hour to get ready.

Before leaving, I figured, "why not give this Serial thing a shot?" So I downloaded a podcast app and a few episodes of Serial. INSTANTLY HOOKED. Weird because it's just one story. How can they drag it on for hours? Anyway, I walked around the city, Stadtmitte and Königsallee and back through the Hofgarten.

I haven't updated in a while. I have been traveling a lot in the last month (Madrid, working from Palma, offsite workshop, and a gezelig weekend in Cochem), and I am not recording my experiences! Bad.

Let's start with this past weekend.
Friday (28 November).
It was the day after Thanksgiving; but there was no Thanksgiving celebration for me in Germany. It was Nick's last day, which didn't feel so sad, but there was a slight unspoken tension in the air. At 4pm we decorated the Christmas tree by the team's table. But I didn't really participate - just had a delicious cookie. A huge after-work party was planned, which was great. We had drinking games (rolling dice, King's cup, beer pong) and a tequila table. Oh my. When the group headed to the Altstadt, I peeled off to get some noodles and then walked home.

(29-30 November).
Bernadet and Thijs invited me to join them, as she had won a weekend at a holiday resort in Cochem, which is located along the Mosel valley in the beautiful wine-growing region of Germany. I took the train there on Saturday morning (fighting my hangover) and arrived at 2pm. Of course the train was delayed (which was ok because I was already running late to the Hbf), and this led to me missing my connection in Koblenz. But no problem.

Bernie and Thijs picked me up with their friend Jacco and we drove up into the surrounding mountains to the resort. The weather was chilly (about 4°C) and dreary. But we didn't plan outdoor activities. The others (Alai, Laura, and Elise) were there. We started by exchanging Sinterklaas gifts, which was a fun game that involved rolling dice, switching/stealing/unwrapping gifts, and 3 rounds.

We also went swimming in the indoor pool; had an amazing dinner made on their raclette; played Twister; played several rounds of Singstar (ABBA and 90s) and ended up watching De Marathon, a good Dutch movie set in Rotterdam. Passed out.

Sunday; woke up and everyone else was already downstairs (9am) having breakfast. We drove into the cty and checked out the Christmas Markets.

Returned home around 6pm. I cut my hair (I was doing no-shave November) but tried not to make it too short; I just wanted it not to get messed up whenever I wore a cap or beanie.

Monday, 1 December.
It's cold. 0-3°C this whole week.
I shaved; end of no-shave November for my face. I'm glad that the stubborn cold sore is away from my chin/lip.
Slept early (around 10pm) until nearly 8am. So I'm very well-rested.
Had to walk to the office.
My laptop programs wouldn't start correctly. There was an update to Office 360 that didn't complete somehow.
Lunch with Francesco - Douro. Was good to catch up; it has literally been months.
Stopped by Woolworth's on the way home; bought gloves and clear tape.
Cooked beef with broccoli, and rice.
Watched House of Cards s2 e5. Getting more into it.

Tuesday, 2 December
Work.
Had lunch (leftover beef with broccoli) at my desk. Did not go out shopping for winter clothes, as I had originally planned.
Had my GDN call. Met with Jon to discuss current efforts. Sent an assertive email to Matt at Y.
Forgot that I signed up for the academy; so I rushed over stressed at 18:15.
Biked home. My new gloves were too thin so my hands were freezing.
Boiled pasta and watched some Amazing Race. Also gave feedback on Luiza's application/CV.
2 weeks until I'm back in LA! Exciting.

Wednesday, 3 December
Team event (Brazilian food + Christmas market) tonight.

I just returned (late last night) from a semi-spontaneous weekend in Madrid. It was nice.

I traveled by myself for the first time in a long time, and it did feel a bit lonely at times, so I was desperate to meet people. I did meet some people from the free tour and corresponding pub crawl (with free shots in every bar).

Weird thing, I brought my laptop but it didn't work at all there. But now, back in Germany my laptop works! Woot. I was convinced that I would need to order a new laptop asap. Oh well, good for me :)

Yesterday, the last day in Madrid, I met up with Viola from CS. We alked around, grabbed lunch, then went on a quest to find a beer mat (coaster), which required some creativity. We then went to the airport together. It was a great day!

My mom is off to Mexico now for a 4-day cruise. She's really into taking cruises now whenever she travels; fancy!

I missed halloween, but that was sort of the plan. I knew I couldn't deal with the stress of finding a creative costume.

My plan for this week is to have my own douchebag jar; I'll put money into it whenever I say/do something rude or insensitive, make fun of other people, or whenever I have a stress attack, or whenever I needlessly complain. Let me see how it goes :)

Ok back to work. It's cold and rainy here :(

Returned from the trivago trip exhausted.

Work was obviously slow on Monday. But I wasn't actually hungover, just incredibly sleep deprived. I fell into the habit of sleeping 9-12 hours each night. I want to wake up earlier, but it doesn't help that the sun rises later (7:30-8am) each day, so my body doesn't wake up until 9:30 or so.

The week was pretty repetitive; getting work done each day, coming home around 7pm and cooking some pasta dinner (Thurs and Fri I had fishsticks) and watching an episode or two of Modern Family before passing out around 10:30pm. I also became a bit more addicted to the 8 Ball Pool game on my phone. I felt myself becoming a little sick, so I took it easy and didn't participate in any sport activities this week.

My videos of the trip (specifically of the train ride back) were shared multiple times, which is very cool.

On Tuesday, we had a publisher visit. She (Lyvia) and her colleague Julia took us (me, Carl, Abhinav) out to dinner and drinks - we ended up at Zum Schlüssel. Was nice but did feel a bit forced. I learned that Lyvia lived in L.A. for some time to pusue her acting/modeling (even though she's short).

After that, I stayed in Altstadt to meet up with the two Couchsurfers (!) that I was hosting: Liza and Tony, from Iowa. They were nice; two Americans traveling as much of Europe as they can in a month. I tried to hold my condescending tone toward Iowa but I couldn't help but make fun of it. We had a beer on the Rheintreppen. It was pretty sketchy. But there, I made two friends: Nico (who studies in Maastricht but is in Düsseldorf for an apprenticeship at the Hyatt hotel where he can take things from their high-profile guests, very outgoing and entrepreneurial guy) and Özgür, his friend. We swapped numbers, and Nico ended up calling me every day afterwards to see what's up.

Tony and Liza left the next day, off to Mainz.

The weekend was quiet. I did not stay at the office on Friday, just had a "meeting" to finalize the people traveling to Belgium next weekend.

Saturday, I stayed in. Went for a run (around Zoopark) in the morning. Tidied up a little bit (i.e. did more laundry, including my shoes). Shared some photos with my uncle, who has been asking for them. Tony and Liza returned, but they were exhausted from traveling and drinking all day in Cologne. So we all just passed out early. They had to leave at 6:30am to catch their flight to London from Weeze, so I didn't properly get to say bye to them.

I realized that I could run out of money at the rate I'm spending; especially with all the travel I have lined up in the next few months. Sadly, I'm not earning that much.

Sunday, also stayed in. But I was feeling a bit healthier, so I went for another run (along the Wehrhahn/triangle route) and did some workouts.

I met up with Nico in the evening. I went to his place in Bilk, met his flatmate Jonathan (who is starting his first day of school, studying social work, the next day), and we then kicked around the football (soccer ball) for a bit, just behind the Bilker Arkaden. And played some basketball (horse) with Jonathan too. Cool guys. I had a pizza with Nico and he showed me how he has gotten into DJing in the last year, which is really impressive. And he told me stories of his time in Australia (about 2 years ago), picking up odd jobs and saving lots of money. He also tried to get me into Trailer Park Boys.

Biked back home and passed out solidly.

Last weekend, I was off on the company trip. All 400 full-time employees were invited to join; we piled onto a chartered train from Düsseldorf Hbf which left at 11pm. The train, of course, had an open bar and a dance floor. And WOW - drinking, dancing, and partying on a train is an experience like no other. I totally blacked out. There was a point when I don't remember anything anymore. I woke up (somehow) in my train cabin but in a pool of my own vomit. yuck. It was the combination of all the alcohol and the train's motion that did me in.

It was light out, and we were just arriving in Austria. The train pulled into Zell am See station. The buses were already coordinated, but it still took some time. I was not feeling energetic at all, and my head was still spinning. The last thing I needed was to sit on a bus for 2 hours winding through the mountains of eastern Tirol.

We got to the hotel, which is a luxury resort and spa with modern facilities and many 4-bedroom "chalets", and we only had an hour or two to drop off our stuff in our rooms and have brunch. It was then time for the trivagolympics. And I was a team leader. Ugh. The tasks involved running an obstacle course, swimming across a pond, and identifying herbs. Not that easy. I was just trying to keep composed. My team included Nick, Tasos, Chusin, Anne, and some other girls. I delegated most of the work away.

That afternoon was spent exploring the pool, spa, and saunas. All of which were very nice. For dinner, buses drove us into town and we had a Tirolian dinner (with one barbecue feeding 400 people). The queue was insane. I saw Mike jump to the line immediately, but I thought to wait. People were waiting for over 2 hours for food. I just got salad bar, which was a smart choice, but I was still jealous of Mike and everyone who got to go first. There was a band playing Schlager music for hours; it was too much. Even though they played "Don't Stop Believin'" I just had to get away from it. I went back to the hotel with Toby, Jamie, and Anne, where we chilled. At 1am we took the bus back to the town, where we joined the people walking to the after party, which was cool and less crowded. Stayed there until 3am, when we bused back to the resort.

The next day was "activity day." First, breakfast, which was an amazing meal, especially with the fruit juicer, which saved me. Every morning, I made myself a fresh carrot, apple, and beetroot juice which kept me going and fended off any impending hangover. I then made my way onto the bus that took us to the river rafting. Again, when we got there, I saw Mike walk past everyone to make sure that he was one of the first. Whatever. I didn't want to be pushy and I respected the people who were ahead of me. We got our wetsuits and changed in a big tent, where we left our clothes and stuff. We then walked back toward the river, where we were divided into groups for each raft. I was on a raft with Justin, Danny, Carla, and some other people from content. we were the 4th boat to leave. And it was fun! Also, it was pretty easy. I hoped the rapids would be stronger! We paddled down for about 20 minutes, and then we got to the finish, and there were all the people who had gone biking cheering us on.

We took a bus (with our seats covered in plastic) back to the rafting set up area, got changed, and then had some lunch. Of course Mike was already there eating a schnitzel when we were still walking off the bus. The generator broke, so only the first hundred or so could eat. I was one of the lucky few. I had a beer and chilled on a seat in the garden. Took the bus back to the resort and rested (only had 1 hour) before our evening on top of a mountain.

Yup, for the second night, we ascended on a cable car to the top of a mountain (Adler Lounge, at 2600m). There we had drinks and appetizers. After about an hour, I realized that the appetizers were actually the dinner! It was a "flying dinner," meaning that we just ate standing there with our drinks; the servers just passing us finger food all evening. Blah. Luckily I found us a table in the corner where we could devour all the food that came to us. I took one of the first cable cars back with Yati and Timmo and Christian. We shuttled back to the hotel, where the bar was to be open all night. That meant drinking and swimming in the pool! Much of my team was doing it, especially Thomas who was well gone. Antonis, Robin, and Martin were there alongside Tobi, Yati, and me. I finished and then went upstairs to the dance floor in my bathing robe, which was fun and attention-getting. Woot! Danced for a few hours, then changed and danced a bit more, but we ended around 3:30 (eating some late night food from the cafeteria).

The next day was "hiking day." We assembled outside at 10:30am and separated into groups, I (reluctantly at first) joined the last group, which was the "easy" hiking group. We took the leisurely path, just along a road, into the valley, and we were the first to arrive at the lunch place! So we got served food and did shots of fruity liqueur (we = me, Martin, Maren, Francesco). Then we walked back with the first group; the point was to maximize our time at the spa. Bokyung had a selfie stick that we were taking pictures with. Back at the hotel, more chilling at the spa, a coffee break, then more spa. However, some of our management was already drunk and decided to terrorize everyone in the sauna, etc. Ugh, it was not a pretty sight.

The evening was the formal dinner at the resort, which was really nice. I drew table #25 and sat with Laura, Johanna, Bokyung, Maya, and Kati (?). Then dancing on the dance floor downstairs. Was nice! Drunkenness of course, but that's what the trip's all about. I rested for about and then returned to dance until they kicked us out, which was at 6am. The last hour was heavy rock and moshing; awesome! At 6, I joined an elite group who went into the pool for a swim. Then chilled back at the chalet with Jamie and Dirk. We decided not to sleep, because otherwise we would have missed the buses. So at 7am we went to breakfast, where we got to say goodbye to all the people leaving for Mallorca. Powered through til 9am, when I picked up my bags (and woke up Nick) and jammed into the first bus I saw.

The bus had to stop twice for vomit. We arrived at Zell am See just 2 minutes before the train was to leave. So we had to grab our bags and run onto the train. Was a nightmare, and it was the last thing I needed in my sleep-deprived zombie-like state.

I slept a couple hours on the train. Played some Cards Against Humanity with the other Americans (and I met Paul). Then I joined everyone who was drinking and dancing for the last hour or two back into Düsseldorf. Yes, it was a hangover party but it was amazing. Best way to return!

The trip was constantly being compared to last year's trip to Sardinia. And it was different, but the expectations were nevertheless high. I mean, it's really hard to beat our partying on 3 boats last year, and this year's trip had more "activities" (hiking, rafting, biking, etc.) instead of just pure partying. But I could see that it was more themed and better organized. People did end up drifting off and each doing their own thing (a theme I notice whenever I travel with a group of people, especially the motivated "alpha" types whom I work with), so it's important just to let yourself be and let others do what they want without forcing your way on them.

So, yes, I had fun. Of course. This is my life, and I would feel so much more miserable if I wasn't a part of this :) I'm so glad to have found the life I have.