"You think you know, but you have no idea..."
Trying to capture everything I do, futile as it may be.

About

I keep a small notebook by my side and do my best to keep a log of my day-to-day activities. This is the result.

Thursday, 8 May 2014

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Wow, another long time with no update. I realise that I need to record my life somehow because I have a hard time grasping "where I am" in the course of the year, etc. (and I just realized that I dwell way too much on the past and spend too much time trying to fully understand what has happened in my life). This year is no exception: it's already the second week of MAY?! I really am boggled. Especially seeing how much has changed (particularly with Mike, since he is now fully in a relationship with the girl that he was just texting on New Years). I am adjusting and struggling a bit personally to get by here in Germany. The fact that Mike has fallen out of my life is also a big factor. But for some reason now I can see that I was just being crazy and paranoid for the last 4 months. I was blinded to reality (that he was falling for a girl) and instead made it all about me. The reality is, he does care about me but not in the obsessive way that I thought of him. I am a bit unstable, and I am now acknowledging that (which should help me be able to control it). I did some bad things and I regret that. I also conveniently blocked out many inconvenient facts/events from my memory, which does not change the fact that they happened an have an effect on the people around me. 


Anyway, enough venting. I actually feel quite good. 

So update: I'm in Düsseldorf for a few days; just returned from my bday weekend trip to Sicily, and I'm going to Amsterdam on Saturday to pick up my mom and uncle. We'll then be traveling together for te next two weeks!

Lies was sedated last night and passed away this morning. On Laura's birthday :( it's making Mike sad, obviously, as it makes me sad. 

Work is the same, though I don't have the initiative that I did before. 

My "birthday surprise" was yesterday: bacon cupcakes in the office :)

Sicily was a good trip, though our group was not as cohesive as I had hoped. Also dampened by the fact that Mike lost his passport and I still felt sad every time I saw him (for at least the first few days). We had a good talk on the last day of the trip and became gezelig all over again :)





Mid-March

Friday, March 14, 2014

General stuff: I'm sort of looking for a new flat. I viewed a shared flat this past Friday and studio flat on Saturday (with Sonia). The main reason for my flat search is to be around all my friends, especially to be closer to Mike. I hate that I live to far away and don't get to interact with everyone on a regular basis. And I don't have the energy to bike "all the way" into the city every weekend. I want to have a social life and to be at the center of my friends'.
I'm still recovering from my cold last week. My nose is continually stuffed, and it's a bit hard for me to concentrate.
I cut my hair (with the new clippers I bought online). Yay grooming.
On Saturday, I joined Jojo, Katie, Nick, and Toby for a sunset chill session by the river. I passed out early.

Monday, 10 March 2014
Work. There is a lot of work to do. As always. I stayed at the office until 8-9pm. Mike was there until 10pm. I'm trying to be more open with him.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014
Stayed at the office and joined the Capoeira lesson. It was surprisingly fun and not too difficult (compared to how it looks). However, for the next few days my legs got pretty sore.
I wanted to hang out with Mike but he left the office early - he had a date with Caro. He posted on Facebook (around 11:30pm) "feeling on Cloud 9" - I think I know what this means.
At home, Anton and I ordered Chinese food delivery. (He is now working at the hospital, from 7am to 4pm.)

Wednesday, 12 March 2014
Work is busy as usual. I find it hard to concentrate.
We visited our new office space in the SkyOffice building. It is still under construction and being decorated. I found my hometown (LA represent!) on the 6th floor.
I slept early (like 9:30pm) and woke up at 6am.

Thursday, 13 March 2014
Team event/BBQ in the park! I helped prepare, walking with Yildiz, Franco, and Toby to Kaisers. It was nice. Lasted until 8pm, then we stayed in the office and streamed some football (Rob really needed to see Tottenham v Benfika; unfortunately Tottenham went down 3-1).

Wednesday, 2014-03-12

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

09:20.
I week until I'm in LA! 4 days until NYC!
Nice weather all week :)
Organizing my emails (adding rules/folders)
Moving day this weekend - we're moving to the other building - need to pack everything on Friday.
Slow internet = coffee break.
Lunch: Bought bread from Kaisers; joined Yildiz and Claude on the 11th floor terrace. Met Lucas and Konstantinos (new hires)
Call - display CPM agency/network
Call - email network

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

09:20
Torsten will do my taxes! :)
Made an internship offer to Greg; no relocation, but raised the base salary to compensate.
Optimizing campaigns.
Adding Keywords.
Regional manager meeting.
Call.
Call.

Capoeira academy. I got pulled in to it - was actually fun and a good workout. Not that hard to learn!

Ordered Chinese food with Anton. Mike was out on a "date" with Caro (still has not admitted to me that he's seeing her, still bothers me).

Monday, 10 March 2014

Monday, March 10, 2014

08:55 at the office. Woke up at 05:45. Still recovering.
GDN - optimized it from home.
Sunshine. Feels good.
Figuring out the correct banner sizes for mobile.
Lunch: Italian to welcome our new American, Jeremy; and semi-new Canadian, Claude.
Calls.
Break - lay in the sun with Mike :) and Toby. Was gezelig.

Karnaval

Monday, March 3, 2014

Wednesday night, 26 February - Toby Arrives
Drank and smoked and stayed in the flat.

Thursday, 27 February - The Party at the Office
Had about 1 hour of productivity before the beers and party started at 11am.
I was really impressed by the quality and diversity of my coworkers' karnaval costumes!
Walked to Altstadt along the Rhine

Friday, 28 February - The "Down Day"
There was an error fare to Los Angeles - round-trip flights from €112! I'M SUCH AN IDIOT FOR NOT BOOKING 5 TICKETS RIGHT NOW.
Work work.
Waldemar's last day.
Jojo's last day.
Party at Victor's place. Biked there with Mike but didn't have any big talk.
It was also Kate's last day (!?!!)

Saturday, 1 March - Köln Alaaf
Bought some food in the morning from REWE. Sorted out Toby and Anton.
"When do you go?" "When everyone wakes up"
Randomly met a lot of people at the Hbf, and we all traveled together.
Became the tour group leader (as usual) and tried to keep the group together.
The group fell apart - Petr and his group split off; Katie and Nick went to Brogie's.
Did not get to meet Sam.

Sunday, 2 March - Recovery
Fixing our hangover with my freshly-prepared beef with broccoli.

Monday, 3 March - Productivity
I chose not to joint the group of people going to Köln today.
Emailed out the details (flight to book) for my bday weekend.
Jogged.
The post office was closed.
Bought food at REWE.
Went to the office

The Weekend in London!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Friday, 14 February 2014
Work as usual. Busy busy busy. Katie gave out Kinder Surprises for Valentine's Day. I'm still upset with Mike.
Drinking after work. Drinking games included horse racing and Irish Poker, both were fun. I bounced home around 10:30pm and packed my bags! :X

Saturday, 15 February 2014
Up early - 4am - to finish packing and to get to my flight. I ordered a taxi to take me to the airport at 5:20am, and got to the airport around 05:40. I had my boarding pass, so I just needed to get to the gate. At security, there was a priority line that I assumed I was not allowed into, so I waited in the other queue.

There was a Russian (?) family of old people in front of me who did not speak German or English. So the security officer told the man to remove the water bottle from his bag, he didn't understand. It took maybe 5 minutes (!) before he finally did it, and he walked so slowly to the trash can to get rid of it. And the older women/men with him - they were the same! All so slow. After about 10 minutes of that BS, I realized that my flight had already been boarding for some time, and I finally saw another security line open at the other end. I dashed there, already with everything in my jacket, and whizzed through. Then there was the passport check, which was also a bottleneck. There was a man who was being interrogated by one of the officers. A couple of Albanian women with a child were in front of me. Not as big of a delay, but still a delay. It was 06:15 and my flight was at 06:30. I should have been ok. But oddly, I didn't see the flight displayed on any of the screens. I rushed downstairs to the gate. The attendants were there. I ran to them, boarding pass in hand. But I knew from the first word they said that it was too late - "sorry..."

So I missed my flight. I begged the attendants to let me on. But the shuttle bus to the plane had already left. Fuck that shit. I begged some more. But there was no other airberlin flight to London that day. I had to simply buy another ticket. Embarrassingly, I had to go through immigration again to re-enter the airport terminal. I went to the British Airways counter, and they had the soonest flight, leaving at 07:15. Ok, I thought, If it costs like €200, that's ok. My return flight is still valid. And I have to get to London! The flight cost something like €245, which I stomached. The woman selling the ticket was new, so she was slow to figure out the system. And when I handed her my card, she said they don't take bank cards, only credit or cash. So I had to rush to find a cash machine. I dashed to the shopping area and did it - the machine charged me a fee of like €4, ridiculous but necessary. I handed the cash over, and soon I had my ticket. I ran to security (which had no wait this time), breezed through immigration, and was soon at the boarding gate. They were just about to start boarding, so it was perfect time.

The flight was mostly empty, maybe 25 people in total. And I got breakfast too - a sandwich. I then filled out my landing card for the UK Immigration people. However, the adventure was not over yet! There was a storm that had passed through the UK overnight; the winds were still blowing but starting to calm down, and there were many residual delays for flights coming into Heathrow. So our flight had to circle above London for about 30 minutes (making at least 3 circles in the sky) before we could descend to land. It was like the world did not want me to get into London that morning! Finally, the plane made its final approach, but as we got close to the ground, winds started buffeting the plane. The plane tilted heavily from side to side. We were only about 200 meters off the ground and the plane was still not steady! Soon, I could see the start of the airport, but the winds were still making the plane rock from side to side. Shit, I thought, there's a good chance the wing of this plane could get slammed into the runway as we land. Ironically, I did not feel stressed about this at all. After all the stress of the morning, a little plane crash was nothing to worry about.

The plane landed safely. Kudos to the pilot for doing such a good job. I dashed out, got to immigration, had my little immigration interview, then tried to figure out my SIM card situation. Finally, something was working in my favor: "In this time of distress, all Heathrow wifi is now free and open for all" - so I was able to connect to wifi, download the API settings, and contact Angela. I got on the tube - my oyster card still had £18 of credit on it, yay! And my phone worked, so I could connect as I was on the tube, yay!

I LOVE THE FEELING OF RIDING THE PICCADILLY LINE INTO THE CITY. It reminded me of my first arrival in London. The weather was clearing up, sunny. People crammed into the train. It was London, it was exciting! Tourists, immigrants, bankers, waitresses, retirees, teenagers, hipsters, nerds, loners, socialites - everyone together in one Tube car. This is life, people! And it's all in London. That is the energy I get.

Mid-February

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Last weekend I went to Hamburg. It was great.

  • The rideshare there (Friday, 7 February) was a bit of an adventure. It was Christi (the driver) and two female ridesharers in the car with me. We left Düsseldorf, but shortly thereafter, a car on the autobahn notified us that our car's rear lights were out, so we had to stop at a gas station and replace them. Also, the oil tank lid was broken (missing a rubber o-ring) and we drove around for some time to replace it. (This was a bit stressful as we didn't know where to go and all the stores were already closing at 6-7pm). After that, I slept almost the entire way to Hamburg.
  • Arrived around 11pm. Matze picked me up at the Hbf and we went to his place (nearby, a student dorm at Berliner Tor). There, we chilled. "Make it strong" I said, haha!
  • Next day was slow. We walked a little bit along the Alster, had a coffee, and went to Kleidermarkt, where I bought a nice suit jacket for €25 - deal! We bought some ingredients from Real and made burgers for dinner. Matze invited some classmates over - Kersten, Selma, and Selma's friend.
  • We drank quite a bit and then went out around 12:30am to the Reeperbahn (Hamburger Berg). Started with Mexicaner shots, then on to the next bar for some dancing (oldies, funk, disco, classic rock, reggae, oh my!) at Sonnensomething. At the second bar we were at, just across the street, I ran into Saskia! What a crazy coincidence.
  • We ended up dancing and at the fischmarkt until 7am. They was a band playing classics rock and roll/50s/60s/70s/disco/etc., which was awesome. Kerstin suddenly went home, which was a disappointment. Matze, Selma and I waited for the sunrise. We ran to catch a ferry across the harbor and parted ways at Landungsbrücken.
  • Slept through most of the Sunday. I got up around 3pm, made some eggs, then said bye. I went to Nicki's place just for a quick chat. It was good to see her and catch up with her.
Monday. Office. Work is busy. Chatted quickly with Mike after work, and he has been acting as if everything is normal. 

Tuesday. Same. Busy. I confronted Mike on WhatsApp. I don't know what to do. I biked to Bilk in the evening.

Wednesday. Work. There was a company presentation in the afternoon, that was actually quite interesting. After work, I went to Altstadt for Sydney and her friend Hank who was visiting. I stayed out with Carl and Waldemar until 2am or so. Nice.

My mom and uncle attended the dedication of the cyber building at the university (named after my grandpa). Sent me a couple photos.

Now it's 10:20. I should go to the office already!