Jason's Daily Notes

I woke up feeling paranoid, worried, and guilty. Not a good way to start the day. I realize that I have been going out and drinking almost every night and I needed to take some time to organize myself, because I honestly have been regretting a lot of things that I have been doing.

I spent the day at home, continuing the job search, which was boring, frustrating, and depressing. I feel like I have no goal and that I'm lost drifting in a sea of uncertainty, while my classmates have already gotten themselves onto a proper career path. (Anyway, I have way too much time to wallow in worry and self-pity, which no one should ever do! I need to snap out of it.) Needless to say, I was having a negative day. I called home and talked with my uncle for nearly an hour. We are both lonely at home by ourselves (my mom is still in Brazil/Argentina).

I had an appointment to regiester with the local GP, so I went there at 4:45pm. Swag texted me to come to the pub at 6pm, he had some good news to celebrate! I rushed over, texting Mike and Amanda to come too. I took the bus to Monument and walked over to Bank, finding Swag after a couple minutes, and Amanda right after that. I managed to avoid drinking, sticking to water with the burger I ordered. (While checking in at the GP, the nurse told me that I had high blood pressure, so I need to cut down on my salt intake.) Mike came shortly thereafter, biking from his work; Amanda had to leave to meet a friend at the Tate Britain; and Fernanda arrive after half an hour or so. (We always invite Fernanda out and end up going home right after). Mike was tired, so he went home. Sandy arrived and we chatted for an hour or two, trying to convince him to hire me (or to start a web series based on me).

Went home, and Mike and I stayed up for a little bit making the eyebands for our costume. I was still feeling pretty negative, so Mike ended up doing most of the work. I feel bad about it - I feel like I'm being a bad friend.